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Saturday, March 17, 2012

honor yourself for kick'n ass EVERYDAY!

In my long an illustrious career I have had the honor of training some of the top athletes at all levels. I have also had the good fortune to be in the right places at the right time because my SKILLS put me in those positions. Now I say that to say this: it is absolutely acceptable to say, to yourself,"Damn I'm good at this!"

Often times in life and not just getting ready for competition or training, we forget to honor ourselves by recognizing how much we do during the day especially if we do it well. In the case of training, our clients often ask 'how am I doing?'. And you know I here this more from adults than the young athletes! That tells me that no matter how old we become, validation on our progress keeps us at it. Results count. We call this in human performance, self efficacy. This can either be a positive or negative simulation. Allow me to explain.

 Lets' start with negative simulation. Face it. Most of us except, the friends I hang around with, are cynics. Most cynics are the ones who say 'this ain't gonna work' then when it does they say nothing or come up with a way to discredit your accopolishment. You know the type that wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight! If you hang around them long enough you can become one of 'them'; Because you have nothing else but cynics in your life so you know no difference. This is very dangerous and can lead to average performance that leads to subsequent 'its better than nothing' mentality. Like Jay Z said 'second place is the FIRST loser!' Living off the the sweat of someone else's hustle is what you become: a cynic!

Positive simulation is my fave. Its so easy to teach when you have the right tools. There is actually what we call in mental performance a HIGH POSITIVE CELL, HPC and a LOW POSITIVE CELL, LPC. HPC, 90%-100%; is when everything is going right.  Unshakeable confidence. Nailing important contracts.  Hitting every green light. Good nights sleep. Training is 'dead on'.. Think Shaun White, the Face Book dude, the 3 time All-American... in 3 different sports! Good sense of humour. You get the idea. People like being around you because you make THEM feel good!  In general, you got it going on and when you don't you properly regulate your emotion and assess the situation rationally, by NOT going on a drinking binge!   LPC, is when you are at about 80%-90% you may feel not quite right. The run, swim, bike or training was "aw right" but you got through it injury free. Too many meetings and lack of focus. Amature mistakes at work and even social events. You are off your game and know it. Ironically, this is a sign of a pro when you know you're messing up! You know that it is one of those days but you cope knowing it will pass because you will get it properly handled. You may read your favorite book, meditate or listen to Miles and pull yourself together. You know how to do this. Interestingly enough, only YOU know you are having an off day. Everybody else around you wish they were as poised as you. I equate this to the duck analogy: on top of the water its smooth looking, but the feet are moving like crazy!

You deserve to say 'I'm doing good here but I know I can improve.' Be careful of being too self conscience but be conscience of self. Mental performance is key to any endeavor. I have seen many of talented athletes go down because of a LPC going into a HNC, High Negative cell! You can guess how this can turn out! You should have an 'escape route' when you are feeling LPC. I have great mentors. They not only tell me how I messed up but they don't leave me there. They encourage, remind me of the accompolishments and how far I have come. Music and spiritual readings are my favorite anecdotes. You have to find your own.

So when you find yourself being too hard on yourself ask "when is the last time I said something nice about MYSELF?" This is no new age stuff. Try it. Its OK to honor yourself when you know you kick'n ass because damn' you are that good!

'Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another'

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